3 Steps to Being Mindful and Kicking Those Pesky Negative Thoughts to the Curb

We all spend far too much time berating ourselves and beating

ourselves up for everything. The person in the world that you should be the kindest to, is yourself, but how do we start to notice that we are even doing this. So much of the time it's our subconscious mind that has us fooled. It's feeding us information about ourselves that is just not true. 

Step One: Live in the Moment

All day long we hide within ourselves, thinking about what we did the day before, or what we might do tomorrow. When we start to pay attention to what is going on right now, we can also start to notice what we are telling ourselves in the moment. For example, if I'm in a business meeting and I am not fully present in that meeting and am really day dreaming about what else I could be doing. I'm focusing internally, and I'm not really living my life. I'm hiding from it. Focus on the meeting, be present for it. It will not only show the boss that you are with it, but it help you to realize when you are hiding from life and when you are not. 

Step Two: Sit alone at least once per day, and focus on the positive things in your life. 

Write them down on a piece of paper and reflect about how great your life is. Keeping a positive attitude will help you to notice when those negative thoughts start to surface. For example, if I start focusing on how much it sucks that my house is falling apart and I start complaining to myself and others about how much I hate my house, then I'm just attracting more of that negative energy to me. 

Step Three: Decide to choose positive thoughts

Change the way you think by noticing when negative thoughts pop into your head and change them. It will be a struggle because our brains are naturally wired this way. It's a defense mechanism and most of the time we don't even notice that it's happening. 

Be present and keep your thoughts in check. The more you remain positive and calm, the more you will attract the good things that you want into your life. 

Breathe. You got this! 

The Top 4 Best Meditation Apps for Your Smart Phone

Meditation is super important in our daily lives to

reduce stress and to maintain focus in a world full of distractions. In order to assist your own meditation journey, I have downloaded and tested 4 Meditation and Guided imagery apps for your smart phone. Each one is slightly different and each one has it's uses.

Relax Mini: Way of the Leaf

The first one is very simple. It's called Relax Mini: Way of the Leaf. It's basically just a guided imagery meditation tour. As a very calming female voice leads you through the woods in the fall leaves a video plays of a tree with bright colored fall leaves on it blowing in the wind. It's very calming and relaxing and with this one you can either watch the video or close your eyes and just listen to the calming voice. This was the first one that I downloaded and when I realized it was just the one guided imagery story, I decided I needed to try out a few more. I needed some options. But I'd rate this one 5/5 stars because it gives you a great tool to relax at the end of the day.

Simply Being

This is a collection of classical songs and nature sounds for relaxation and meditation. There is no voice leading you through the imagery, but it is pretty easy to let your mind imagine that you are in a calming place when you can hear the sound of the ocean waves, or the calming meditation music. There are 3 classical music options called Acceptance, Sanctuary, and Gentle Night and there are 5 nature options, including Calm Ocean Shore, Light Rain, Gentle Forest Brook, Evening Lake Birds, and Moderate Surf. You can decide whichever sound makes you the most relaxed and then you can set the timer for how long you want to meditate for. You can set the timer for 5, 10, 15, 20, or 30 minutes. I love this app and would also rate it 5/5 stars. It is super easy to use, and makes it really easy for anyone who wants to meditate daily. 

Headspace

This is an animated cartoon with an man with an Australian accent explaining the best ways to meditate. He gives you some beginner insights and starts you off nice and slow. There are singles options for when you just want to do a quick relaxation technique, but there is a main area where you basically have to complete the first session before you can unlock session 2 and so on. There are 10 sessions total. I rate this one a 2/5. It looks really professionally done, but I don't find it very calming and the first session didn't get me relaxed and neither did session 2. I wasn't very impressed with it, but that doesn't mean it's not worth trying if you want to! 

Breethe

And the Winner is.... Breethe. This app is absolutely AMAZING. You can use it for free, but I strongly suggest paying for the monthly fee. It gives you access to all of the wonderful meditations. There is a meditation for every situation. I pay the 12 bucks a month for a membership and my favorite mediation is one called positive self image. She walks you through a meditation where you sit in your happy place and look in a mirror and she helps you see yourself in a more positive way. It's wonderful and always makes me feel happy and safe. There are meditations to help you sleep, help you get through chemo treatments, weight loss, pain, getting rid of negative thinking. There are so many! And the app also has themed weeks, so you can do a themed week that has a meditation for every day of the 7 days of the week. There is one for feeling happier, stressing less, better sleep, etc. 

I hope this was helpful for you and I really hope that if you don't already have a meditation routine, that you download an app to help you create one. Happy meditating!

An Active Body is a Healthy Body

So many people think of working out as a way to lose weight. Because of this they often go through without cycles. They will   start a workout regimen with the idea that they will lose weight. After a certain amount of time goes by, depending on the person, they will start to realize that the weight is not coming off or maybe it's not coming off fast enought. At that moment in time, most people quit working out, because in their mind, what's the point? 

What if we changed the way we looked at working out, what if we simply look at it as a way to be healthy. We all want to be healthy right? So let's say that being active is everything from yard work to cleaning the house to the usual running or biking. This means that engaging your body in any way that is not sitting means you are keeping your body moving, therefore making for a healthier you. 

Keeping that in mind, let's talk about the health benefits of leading an active life. A decrease in anxiety and depression, a sense of purpose, a healthy heart, mind, and body. All that is required to get you on a healthy active path, is to start making active choices. Instead of spending all night watching tv or playing video games, spend some of that time moving. It doesn't have to be anything strenuous, you could do the yard work you've been putting off, you could take the dog for a walk, you could clean the kitchen, or, if you want, even go to the gym. 

I have recently watched loved ones lose a significant amount of their quality Still playing of life, because they can't move like they used to. You know how you avoid that? Never stop moving. If you don't use your muscles they become useless. Think about this the next time you plan on spending the whole night being sedentary, think again. Find at least one activity you can do every day that requires you to be up and moving for at least an hour and increase your energy, your livelihood and become an overall healthier person.

Exercise to Maintain a Positive Mindset and Relieve Stress

I have found that on the days that I don't work out, I am 10 times more stressed and get tired and worn out faster, I also find that on those days I am more likely to feel sad or depressed about my life. Exercising every day is a great way to keep the positive feelings and thoughts going strong. It keeps your mind and body upbeat and positive. 

Negative Thoughts

Those negative thoughts can really creep in, and Exercise gives you endorphins which makes you feel happy and awake. Many of our negative thoughts have something to do with self-esteem as well. Pushing yourself to workout every day can make you feel good about yourself in more ways than one. Not only did you accomplish something that is good for you, but you did something to help you have a healthy body and mind. 

Make it happen

I have a really hard time getting up in the morning, especially to go work out, but after I get to the gym or start working out I start to feel more awake and energized and start to feel glad that I got up in time to workout. Afterwords, I feel happier and more energetic and ready to start my day. Active individuals who spend less time watching television and more time staying busy in more active ways are far more likely to be successful and happy in their lives due to a positive attitude and higher self-esteem.

You've Got Options

There are so many options for leading a more active life-style that it is hard to come up with a an excuse. There are several affordable gyms out there that cost a small monthly fee which often will give you class options, gym equipment and sometimes sporting leagues and rock climbing walls. If you fall in love with something particular like Yoga or Kick Boxing, there are smaller gyms or studios that offer classes for just those things, or if you need to go the cheap route, you could always buy a few work out DVDs and workout from home. I will warn you though, I have several DVDs and I almost never touch them. There is something about being at home that makes it hard for me to want to workout. I have to get out of the house. However, if you set up a room in your house as your gym with maybe an empty space with some yoga mats, a TV, and some yoga DVDs it would give you your own active space so that you can separate your relaxing time with your workout time.

Make it Your Own

It all comes down to personal preferences and what will work for you! If you can't make yourself get out of bed in the morning, maybe make an after work workout routine, or an after dinner workout routine. Maybe you take a class with your spouse or significant other a few times a week. Regardless, I cannot stress enough how important it is to keep pushing yourself to make the choice to be active. Maybe you are mentally exhausted from a long day of work, maybe you didn't sleep well the night before, none of it matters, they are all excuses, for a positive and stress free life it is absolutely a necessity to stay as active as possible. 

How to Stay Positive in a Negative World

3 Steps To Help You Stay Positive

In a world full of negativity it is hard to find the positivity. We rarely hear happy news in the papers and on the television. We only hear about who killed who and a bomb went off here, and of natural disasters. The world surrounds us with negativity, so how to we move past it, how to we find the sunshine after the storm?

Step #1: Always be looking for the "silver lining". 


Sometimes it is very hard to find, but it is always there. There have been situations in my life where I had a lot of trouble finding the silver lining. For example, one day I found out that I had lost my job. I wasn't just let go, I was fired and the person that fired me was very cruel about it.


I was barely able to hold it together. I grabbed all of my things and left and finally broke down into tears when I got to the car. I called up my Mom and told her that I thought my life was over and didn't know what I was going to do. She said "It wasn't a great job and you know that you can find a better one, you can now claim this job as experience on your resume and you will be able to find something better." At that time, I couldn't even think past that moment. After hearing what my Mom said, I realized that there really was something positive coming from this experience. Even if an experience is awful and hard to deal with and overwhelming, you will learn from it and take away everything that you can from it. Find joy in everything you do. There is always a silver lining somewhere, you just have to be strong enough to go looking for it.

Step #2: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff 

People have a tendency to let small stuff bother them. For example, maybe you get upset when a Barista doesn't make your coffee beverage correctly, or maybe someone accidentally bumps you in the hall, or maybe you get upset every time someone talks in an elevator. All of these things are tiny. Way worse things can happen to you. Don't sweat it, just let it bounce right off of you. You have to remind yourself that things could always be worse and your coffee not being made the way you like it one day out of the week is not the end of the world. Take a deep breath and just let it go. The more of the small stuff you can let go, the easier time you will have thinking positively and keeping yourself calm in high pressure situations. 

Step #3: Appreciate What You Have

We often take what we have for granted. Maybe your life isn't exactly how you imagined it would be. Maybe you thought you'd be living on your own private Island living in a castle by now. Well, that is probably not the case and that's okay. Look at what you do have. What things are good in your life right now. Focus on those things and be thankful that you have them. I have a great life and people around me who care deeply for me. I often get so caught up in the day-day stresses of life that I forget how blessed I am to have friends and family who care about me, a roof over my head, food to eat at every meal, and the time to work towards my goals. Make a list, right now! What things in your life are good? Post the list in a place that you will see it every day, add things to it, and constantly remind yourself that you have good things in your life.

Organize Your Life

I know it may sound silly or obvious, but organizing life at work and at home will help to alleviate a lot of your stress. Take a look at your room, your car, your kitchen, and your desk at work. Are they truly organized?? Is everything in an easy to access place. Does item that is used often or is important have a designated place?? If your answer to any of these questions is "no", then it is time to get organized. 

Choose one room to organize per weekend until the job is finished. Talk to family members about the best ways to make each room efficient and to keep each room clean and organized.  Have them help in the organizing process. I can't tell you how many times I have been running late to work and have misplaced my keys or suddenly realized that I did not have anything to bring to lunch. These are all things that can be avoided. I can find a place where I always will keep my keys, and I can keep an organizer that will tell me when I have eaten my last lunch meal. Why should you organize every aspect of your life, you ask? The answer is simple. You will decrease the amount of stress you have in your life, by making sure that you avoid situations like running out of food, losing your cell phone, falling late on bill payments, and forgetting to make something for your company potluck. 

Even when you think you will remember, always write it down and always put it in the same place. The age of smart phones is upon us, and they are great for keeping track of things for you. Every smart phone has an organizer in it or one can easily be downloaded on to your phone. If you own a smart phone, utilize it! If you do not own a smart phone and have no intention of getting one, then I strongly urge you to purchase an organizer or a planner. This way you can give yourself a daily "to do" list to keep your life and living areas organized as well as make sure that you do not forget important events or that you used your last bit of coffee beans. It might take some time to get there, but once your life is organized, no matter how stressful your home and work life is, you will be feeling much less stressed.

Relaxation Techniques – Positive Thinking and Breathing Exercises to Use When Under Stress

The everyday stresses of modern living can take total relaxation

away from you. But there is absolutely NO reason for you to continue living life full of stress and anxiety. By applying the art of relaxation, you can easily enjoy life once again and find success especially during high-pressure situations.

The secret to total relaxation is a controlled and balanced state of mind and body. If you spend the entire time worrying about what bad or worse could happen, then you can never learn to relax. Sometimes though, some situations could get you there where it seems virtually impossible to relax. Good thing, you can learn and practice some techniques that will help you relax both your mind and body almost in an instant.

Relaxation – As Simple as Deep Breathing

When you are under stress, you body starts to evoke shallow, fast,

irregular, and tense breathing. In contrast, when you are calm, your breathing is free and relaxed. According to Michael Lee, founder of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy, Bristol, Vermont, and author of “Turn Stress into Bliss”, you can instantly transform your tension into relaxation by just changing the way you breathe.

Gentle, deep breathing exercises can help you relax because it makes your body feel the way you feel when you are relaxed. Thus, if you find yourself in stressful situations, the best way to deal with your “nerves” is to control your breathing. First, try to be aware of your breathing. To calm your mind and body, start breathing deeply but gently at the same time. This will help lower or regularize your heart rate and blood pressure.

Breathe slowly and naturally when taking air in and imagine you are breathing in peace into your mind and body. When you breathe out, imagine you are exhaling all your fears and worries. You can also learn to breathe through your diaphragm to be able to breathe much deeper and calmer. Relaxation through breathing techniques can be this simple – no need to complicate it.

Positive Thinking, Visualization, and Positive Self-Talk

You can also reduce your stress by staying relaxed through positive

thinking. First method is through visualization. Picture yourself relaxed in a peaceful “dreamscape”. Take away your mind from the stressful situation by thinking of your favorite vacation spot or imagining a perfect scene such as a fantasy island or paradise. You can also focus your mind on a simple pleasant thought like being in your most comfortable sleepwear, drinking warm cocoa or just lying in bed with no worries.

The main idea is to remove all of your negative thoughts and replace it with pleasant or calming ones. Keep your daydream as detailed and as realistic as possible. Take special note of the sounds, sights, and even the touch and feel of your imaginings.

The second positive thinking technique to relax and ease stress is through positive self-talk. This means using only positive words when thinking and even while talking. Use encouraging words such as, 'I can', 'I will be able to', 'I can make it possible, 'I can do it', etc. Allow only thoughts and feelings of confidence, success, strength, and happiness into your consciousness.

Ignore all doubts and negative thoughts and substitute them with positive constructive ones. When you are out to do a difficult task, prepare by visualizing a successful outcome clearly and vividly in your mind. Concentrate and keep the faith while visualizing and you be pleased by the results.

Positive thinking and breathing exercises are easy to learn and incorporate into your life most especially during highly stressful situations. You can do them whenever and wherever particularly when you need it most. The best part is that you are not required to use any special tools or equipment to apply them. To relaxation, success, and happiness!